Cycle-Breaking 101
The term “cycle-breaker” is an emerging concept in the therapy world. What does cycle-breaking mean? How does it apply to our lives? And what kind of support do we need to become one?
Keep reading to learn the basics of being a cycle-breaker.
Photo by Mark Basarab on Unsplash
Let’s start with a definition: cycle-breakers are people who disrupt harmful emotional, behavioral, and cognitive patterns in their families and surrounding communities. Rooted in systems theory within the psychology world, being a cycle-breaker is becoming synonymous with making courageous change for the better.
A few common examples of common harmful patterns a cycle-breaker may disrupt include abusing substances, forming codependent relationships, practicing poor personal boundaries, workaholism, showing hostility towards outsiders, and ignoring unresolved wounds resulting from traumatic experiences.
Harmful patterns take shape in the present but oftentimes their roots stretch back for generations. Why? One possible explanation is that dysfunctional patterns arise as a response to pain beyond the family or community’s control. Overwhelmed by a traumatic event or unexpected stressor, family and community members may rely on self-protective measures that end up pervading a healthy flow of information, connection, and development. The ongoing impacts of these patterns will continue until a disruption stops them in their tracks.
Sound familiar? This principle mirrors Newton’s first law of motion (i.e. an object in motion will remain in motion until an unbalanced force acts upon it). It takes disruption to shift the dysfunctional flow of energy in a new direction.
That’s where the cycle-breaker comes in!
Cycle-breakers do 3 key things:
They acknowledge harmful patterns.
They recognize their own power to make change.
They find support to enact these changes.
If you notice a harmful pattern in your family or community that needs to change in order to restore healthy connection, you’ve already begun stepping into a cycle-breaking role.
The work of cycle-breaking weaves healing into future generations. Cycle-breakers disrupt patterns of addiction, emotional neglect, shame-based belief, and countless other forms of harm.
But here’s the honest truth: being a cycle-breaker is not for the faint of heart. It requires courage, strength, and focus to call out unhealthy behaviors and take a different approach. Stepping out to speak hard truths can be a deeply lonely experience. This is why action #3 is so key: Cycle-breakers need support to enact change.
Thankfully, cycle-breakers are not alone. Support IS out there. Books like Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Tawwab, podcasts like The Place We Find Ourselves by Adam Young and groups like Alcoholics Anonymous and Celebrate Recovery are great, low-cost sources of support for folks who are tired of the same old pain haunting themselves and their relationships. When time and resources allow, therapy can also be an amazing partner for cycle-breakers making shifts to improve your health and the health of the people you love.
You can start by searching for therapists on Psychology Today who focus on Family Conflict, Emotional Disturbance, or any of the unhealthy patterns mentioned above. If you’re ready to connect with a therapist for support, I’d be honored to talk with you. You can contact me at this link or give me a call at 626-471-1213 for a free, no-obligation consultation.
If this post resonates with you, I encourage you to read more about the immense impact a cycle-breaker has on the world. If you identify as someone choosing a different path from your family or community for the sake of healing, thank you for seeing and responding to the call within. You are telling a new story and as one human family, we all benefit from your work.
